On-Point Man

"Ok," Dana responded, "I'm listening now, what is it that you're trying to do again?"

"I said", I said, "that I'm going to reinvent myself. That I'm trying to reinvent myself. That I want to be the type of man that has his shit together."

Dana looked at me with a puzzled face, her half-rim glasses slipping down her slim, yet elegant nose. "I don't get it, what are you now then?"

"I dunno...unorganized, unprepared, unmotivated. I'm a list of 'un's' where I want to be a guy that's about more. I want to seem as though being prepared is second nature to me. As if the things that I'm supposed to do and/or have done is second to my own peace and tranquility. I want my boss to come to my desk and ask for the report, and I reply with 'here', yknow? That's the type of man I want to be. But I'm not that right now...so I have to reinvent myself. Reset and reorganize my priorities."

"Don't you have a report due in an hour?"

"It's not an immediate shift Dana. It's a progressive evolution. It's a gradual change. I just had this epiphany in the shower this morning, you can't expect it to take it's toll now. I gotta plant seeds."

"I'm just saying," she said cooly, "you could be doing your report now, instead of telling me how much of a prepared man you're gonna be one day..."

"...you're right, but..."

"...and knowing you, you've probably told several other people this same speech, haven't you..."

"...just John and Horace, but then..."

"...AND you probably wrote about it on your blog, or journal, or whatever the hell yo do at your computer between porn and talking to people on Facebook..."

"...that was just that one time Dana! See, this is why I don't tell you my epiphanies. You always bring this element of reality to my thought process that I don't appreciate , nor do I fancy."

"Funny," she said as she turned back to her work, "I thought that's why you do tell me your epiphanies."

I sat back down at my desk and stared at two objects - a half-finished report due in approximately one hour, and my internet-happy laptop with several new friend requests.

"Hm," I thought to myself, "maybe that IS why I tell her my epiphanies."